Consideration

I just had my first UCC (United Church of Christ) polity class today, and all I can say so far is that it was interesting. It didn't really feel like a class, more like a meeting of some kind. Although, we did get our first assignment, which is to interview a pastor and then do a one-page write up about how they got involved in ministry. This is due in a week, which I think is an unreasonably tight deadline.

Part of what we are supposed to do for class is keep a journal about our insights on the UCC denomination. I figured this would be a good way to revive my blog. Ever since I decided this wasn't going to be a daily ritual, I've been kind of lax about keeping up with it, which I'm sure you've all noticed.

So, what do I "know" about the UCC thus far? It seems to me that the UCC is a safety net for a lot of Christians that have left their denominations. I went to a UCC Christmas party last year and spoke to people who used to be Episcopalian, Lutheran, Greek Orthodox, Presbyterian (obviously), and even a Unitarian Universalist! That's an eclectic bunch of people! It made me very grateful for the UCC, because if not for the UCC, where would all of these people ended up? Also, the fact that it attracts such a diverse range of people is intriguing to me. It makes me think something very special is going on over there.

I will keep you all updated as I continue to explore the UCC as a possible new denominational home. I feel pulled in that direction, even though lately I've been having theological issues with the existence of denominations at all. Much of this has lessoned as I've talked to people, but there is still a residual hesitation. I figure, if I don't make a decision by the end of the semester, I'm not going to make a decision at all.

$5,400 an hour

I have to go to the eye doctor tomorrow because I've been using the same pair of contact lenses for WAY TOO LONG. Just some helpful advice: This is not good for your eyes.

While I was making the appointment, the woman I was talking to asked if I had my old prescription. I told her that my previous eye doctor was in southern california and I would not be able to bring it. She explained that I needed to get it if I could because it would have the fitting for my contacts, which shouldn't change, even if my prescription does. She went on to say that they could do the fitting here if I couldn't get the old prescription, but that it would cost $90. Needless to say, I got their fax number and had my old doctor fax it over.

Now, I've had contact fittings done before, and if memory serves, the doctor basically sits you in front of a machine and push a button. The machine does all of the work in about a minute and the doctor just kind of sits there and watches. So, I started thinking about this. $90 for 1 minute of work? That's $5,400 an hour! Holy $#!&!!! That's a little extravagant, don't you think?

And I don't want to get into a whole healthcare debate, but I think that is a really good illustration of what is wrong with our healthcare system. Some of the most basic routine things we need to have done literally cost a fortune! If you ever get the chance, look at how much you get charged for an Aspirin or Band-Aid at an emergency room. Of course, most people don't end up paying these outrageous amounts; these bills get sent to our insurance carriers. But, guess who gets to pay the premiums?

And, that's if you even have vision coverage (which I don't). So, the whole thing will be coming out of my pockets, which are pretty damn shallow. It's a good thing I got my student loan check today.

Life in Marin (Title Stolen from Mike)

I finally decided to go out mushroom hunting again. Since this is only my second year trying this, I'm not sure what's normal, but it doesn't seem like there's as many mushrooms in general this year as there were last year. Still, I took some pictures of my walk so all you folks out there can get a feel of what it's like here if you've never visited.

I can always count on these Black Elfin Saddle mushrooms to grow around campus.

Here's some Chanterelles of the FALSE variety. It's so disappointing when you find these cuz when you first spot them, you get excited thinking you've found a bunch of huge yellow Chanterelles. Unfortunately, these False Chanterelles are poisonous. I checked my usual spot for the real ones, but there weren't any there. I wonder if someone else knows about that spot...

SFTS is beautiful. 'Nuff said.

Marin is kind of a quirky place. Take, for example, this UFO parked in front of this person's house.

This is a picture from inside their courtyard. I'm assuming the person that lives here is some kind of artist.

Witch's Butter. Pretty gross looking, isn't it?

I almost walked right by this cup type mushroom. It blended right in with the dead leaves.

A bunch of cool-looking red mushrooms growing around the graduation field.

And, of course, the Stinkhorn Lattices are back.

My loot for the day. Pretty sad, but at least it was something.

Fable III

Over the break, I was playing Fable III. It normally doesn't take very much for me to get into a video game, especially a fantasy role playing game like Fable or Final Fantasy, but I was especially excited to play Fable III because you can play as a male character and get married to another male character. Of course, you can also have a heterosexual or lesbian marriage.

I know this is nothing new; when the first Fable came out, no pun intended, the kids in my youth group were playing it and told me about the possibility of having a gay marriage. For the first Fable, however, you could only play as a male character, and if you had a heterosexual marriage, there was an elaborate ceremony, whereas if you decided to marry a man, there was no bonus animation to watch. You and your intended would just jump up and down with excitement when he accepted your proposal.

I never played the first Fable; I think it came out during a time in my life when I was trying to limit my exposure to video games. I know how addicted I can get to them. Also, there's always the money issue. I haven't bought a console since the Sega Dreamcast, and that was a really long time ago. Side note: I've started playing my old Sega Dreamcast games again, LOL.

Anyway, I haven't finished Fable III yet because I can only play it when I go home for vacation. It's my friend's game and I play it when I go visit her. Luckily, I did manage to find a husband, one of the cooks that worked in the castle. I'm a king in the game now, but for some reason, my husband still works in the castle kitchen while I roam the world fighting monsters. I guess its good that we each have our own "things."

There's an orphanage in the game where we can adopt children. That will be my next in-game goal. In the meantime, I get to enjoy randomly visiting the castle, finding my husband and kissing him as the mood strikes. If only things were so easy in real life O_o.

I'm really glad games have come this far. I honestly have to say that when I was younger, I never imagined I would ever get to play a gay character in a video game. Truthfully though, it wasn't something I spent a lot of time thinking about, since video games so rarely deal with their character's sexuality. Most of the time, you're trying to figure out some kind of puzzle or kill the giant monster. It wouldn't be as interesting of a game without those things, but I'm am really grateful that game developers have added this new layer of gaming complexity.

Unintended Consequences

Vacation time is slowly coming to a close, and so I'm trying to squeeze in as much family and friend time as possible. Tonight, my sister and I went to my brother James' house to play Settlers of Catan with him and his two kids, Kai and Raj. At first, my sister Dianne didn't want to play, but the game caught her attention as she watched us play and she finally jumped in. Needless to say, we all had a really great time.

While we were playing, we somehow got onto the topic of church. I noticed this happens quite frequently around me, go figure. My brother mentioned that he's been getting further and further away from the church, and now that this thing happened to me, it only justifies his belief that the church is full of bigots. I tried to explain to him that everyone has flaws and that it's human nature to be divisive, but he had a point. I didn't have a lot of firm ground to stand on, especially in light of what did in fact happen to me because of the church.

I love God and have pretty much always loved God. For most of my life, I have equated this love with loving and caring for and being a part of the church. Is this incorrect? Obviously, I still want to be part of the church: I haven't dropped out of school and fully intend to graduate and become the senior pastor at a cafe church someday, but it is becoming increasingly hard to tell people that attending church is a good thing. A lot of the people there just aren't giving me very much to work with.

So, how do you explain to people that church is a good thing? Do you in fact believe that going to church is a good thing?

I think church is good for us, because as human beings, we are designed to worship God. It's kind of like how cars are designed to run on gas. This "argument" works for me, but I can see how it might not work when looked at from the other side.

How do you tell someone to hang out with a bunch of hypocritical bigots who have relegated someone you love to a level of second class citizenship?

You've got mail

One of the problems that I tend to have when I'm on vacation is that I have a hard time going to bed at a "normal" hour. So, since I've been meaning to blog for a while and I can't sleep, even though it's almost 5 in the morning, I decided to go ahead and write about what's been on my mind for the past few weeks.

This post is about the last blog that I wrote, which was basically a copying and pasting of two letters. The first was a response that someone wrote to me regarding the letter that I wrote to my church and my presbytery to explain to them how I felt about the decisions that they made and to let them know that I was leaving the PCUSA. The second was my response back to that person.

Well, that person wrote back to me pretty quick. That was about 2 weeks ago now. The reply has been sitting in my email this whole time and I've been too afraid to look at it. So many people have hurt me in the last few months, people that were supposed to care about me, that I did not want to risk any more emotional damage, especially at the end of the semester and certainly not right before the holidays. I've been dealing with a lot of crap lately, and I for the time being, I felt that I could push off reading the letter until after the holidays, or at least until after Christmas.

In the meantime, I also got a reply from the presbytery. Since I wasn't going to read the first email, I decided to hold off on reading that one as well.

So, they've been sitting in my inbox this whole time, and I can't stop thinking about them. I probably shouldn't let a couple of emails have this kind of power over me, especially since I haven't even read them yet, but I have read a lot of really hurtful and hateful things in the past couple of weeks, and I feel like I need to limit my exposure. I guess it's kind of like how you should only eat a certain about of tuna per week 'cuz of the mercury? Yes, evil words really are like poison, and the poison doesn't even taste good.

I'll let you all know when I read the letters. I'm not sure exactly when I'm gonna read them, but I'm assuming it won't be too long from now.

In the meantime, happy holidays and I hope you are all surrounded by grace, joy and love. In spite of what's been going on, my friends and family have been really great and I love being around them. It's too bad school starts again in a week. Oh well. Merry Christmas!

Theology, Pharisees and Sex Rights

One of the responses to my letter and my reply:

Hello Charles,

First of all, I'm very sorry that you have experienced pain as a result of our church and presbytery rejecting your theology. We too experience vilification for our sincerely held beliefs and are labeled as "non Christian", "bigots", & "pharisees" by those we love and it is hard to keep in mind that is our theology that is being rejected and not us.

Second this advice or recommendation is coming from me as a friend and not from our church or presbytery. I suggest that you do not leave the PC USA as it will most likely approve the ordination of practicing homosexuals this year or at least in the next 2-4 years. I think all of the mainline denominations will eventually go that route as well. This is unfortunate because all of the fastest growing Christian churches and movements (i.e. Foursquare, Calvary Chapel, Mars Hill, etc) are conservative and take a stand on the Historic Apostolic Christian faith.

My prayer is that the Spirit visits our country so that "sex" will no longer be god and that we will return to the Biblical theology that teaches that sex is a privilege/gift and not a right.

Sincerely,

******

You have no idea how I feel because you are in fact rejecting who I am, not my theology. What I believe and do is inextricably linked to who I am as a gay man. How would you feel if someone thought that you loving your husband or wife was sinful and disgusting? Charles