Friday, February 5, 2010

Gay Guy in Seminary: Day 173 (Debt)

So, I got my financial aid check on Wednesday and I deposited it into my brand spanking new US Bank Student Checking account. I started paying off some money that I owe and watched as all of that new money slowly disappeared. I'm trying to pay off everything that I know I am going to owe through August of this year so that I can see how much money I really have and I won't have to worry about making payments on things all the time. I figure it'll be easier to budget this way. Right now, it totally looks like I have enough money, but I'm hoping I can pull in a few scholarships to supplement it. Student loans are nice and all, but they need to be paid back, and as I was filling out various forms for scholarship applications, I came face to face with just how large my student loan debt is. I'm not going to lie, I had to choke back a tear or two.

As most people know, I got totally screwed over a few years ago by the whole bakery thing. I'm not sure how long it will be before I recover from that (I'm thinking a decade or more), but I was saddled with A LOT of debt. I don't need more debt, which is why I need the scholarships. I'm having a very hard time imagining finishing school and trying to start the new phase of my life with that much debt hanging over my head.

It's like that line from Before Sunrise. Everything interesting costs money. Well, I would say most of life is interesting, and a lot of life costs money. This is a problem for someone who is in school and doesn't think s/he can do school and work at the same time. (this is me raising my hand) It wasn't a problem when I was in undergrad; I can't believe how easy it was to work full time and go to school full time in undergrad compared to being in seminary. I know this is not the first time I have written these sentiments, but it's what's going thru my head right now, and I'm sure none of you is that interested in how I learned how to play backgammon today. I'm going to sign off now and ponder my monetary fate. Good night, all!

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