Day 198 (Carmine's Wait)

I performed my favorite Tuesday Conner poem today for the first time. She wrote it when her friend Carmine was murdered in his home. I always wanted her to perform it because even though it was sad, I always thought it was beautiful. After performing it, I now understand why she often-times was hesitant to perform it. I didn't even know Carmine, and I was completely and utterly emotionally drained afterwards. I couldn't even tell the story that goes with it because I was on the verge of tears as I finished the poem.

The story that goes with it is that Tuesday's sister put the poem on the Internet and Carmine's family, who had been looking for him, was able to locate and claim his remains because of it. Here is Carmine's Wait, my favorite poem, written by Tuesday Conner. If you click on the title, you can watch a YouTube video of her performing it. The sound isn't very good, but it's worth it to see a poem performed by the author. I believe she also performs Robin on that video, which is another heart-breaker. I hope you find this poem as beautiful as I do.

Carmine’s Wait

As I wait to wait,

The government plays cowboys and Indians in other countries

When it’s here that needs to be saved.

As I wait to wait,

Did my friend die in vain,

Was the man who killed Carmine on drugs,

Or just insane?

He had too much pressure built up inside,

Maybe he couldn’t provide for his wife,

Maybe his child just died.

I’d really like to know why a crazed man roams the halls,

Ranting about,

Wielding a knife,

Making more noise than allowed by the Lord,

Groggy eyed and sleepily,

Carmine comes to the door,

The evil man ran at him,

Knocked him to the floor,

Inside Carmine’s house,

The man stabbed my friend,

Again and again,

For no moral cause.

The people closed their doors,

Someone called 9911,

The man kept stabbing him,

Even when the police did come.

You looked out your peephole,

Wait for the police to come,

They show up,

And the stabbing goes on.

How long did it take?

How long did you peep?

How long did you listen?

Where was grandma’s cast iron skillets?

That’s why planes go down!

You wait to wait for the cavalry to come,

And the cavalry came to late,

And what good are neighbors,

If be at your door friend, or stranger?

It ain’t even safe to wake up no more,

As I wait to wait,

There’s emptiness inside,

We walk around in a void,

Doing menial chores,

Life goes on for the living,

Which my friend has no more.

Never saw him step on a spider,

Or swat down some fly,

All I ever saw was a real nice, handsome guy.

Always had kind words,

Never more than a few,

He always offered two big helping hands,

Probably wore a 14 ½ shoe too.

Carmine, you shoulda been my boo.

I know you’re gone to heaven,

In your crisp white shirt,

Showing off for the man,

I see you!

Standing at the pearly gates,

Gabriel and trumpet in hand,

Little did your neighbor know,

He was taking you home,

To sit by your Father’s side,

Reminiscence,

On life lessons learned.

They say you had no family,

I hope that would mean they were there to greet you,

To escort you to the king.

Welcome home, I’ll see you when I see you.

We are his theater family,

Not legally bind,

The city will keep him for one year,

And for one year I will bide my time,

And I will wear a crisp white shirt,

On the day his ashes we will come to claim.

He has a family,

Carmine Puccio’s life and death will not go in vain.

Dear Carmine,

In my heart,

You will always remain,

My boo.

He always wore a crisp white shirt.

And the smile he wore,

As big as the earth.