Sunday, October 4, 2009

Gay Guy in Seminary: Day 049 (The Girl of My Dreams)

My really good friend called me today to tell me that her stepmother-type person thought that I would find a nice girl in seminary and get married in the "normal" and obviously much better-for-me way. This woman, not my friend, the stepmother-type person, makes a comment like this about twice a year or so. It's actually kind of funny, but it's also really annoying. She obviously has no clue about what it means to be gay. It's not something that I thought was cool and decided to start doing one day. This is who I am. Why in the world would I chose to be attracted to guys? Do you have any idea how complicated this makes my life? Not to mention the fact that it is completely ridiculous to think that you get to chose who you are attracted to! This is just how I am, and to be honest, it took me a really long time to accept it, be comfortable, and yes, even appreciate it. I know that because of my religious upbringing and involvement with the church, I could just as easily have been born straight and grown up to be one of those bigoted haters holding up signs on street corners trying to get everyone to "protect marriage" by voting on Prop 8.

And, why is it that the people judging me are always the people that have some definite flaws of their own? Apparently it's okay to get divorced, have extra-marital sex and snort cocaine, just as long as you're not gay. (Those are actual real-life personal examples of people that have judged me in the past, not hyperboles) It's never the soccer mom with four kids that remained a virgin until she was married and volunteers at the soup kitchen and sings in the church choir that tells me it's wrong to be gay. It's always people who have issues of their own, but for whatever reason, their issues are "okay" and they think they have enough moral standing to be telling me how I should be living my life.

So yes, I am thankful that God made me gay. I'm glad that I was forced to see both sides of the issue as I grew up so that I could become a sensitive and rational human being who does realize, albeit imperfectly sometimes, that there is usually more than one side to every issue. The fact that I am a gay Christian forces me to really examine things that are just accepted as the status quo. I try not to take things for granted and I try not to jump to conclusions about things. I try to learn as much as I can before making decisions, and I will always be the last person to judge someone because of the things that they've done. So, yes! Yes, I am glad that God made me this way and I am proud to be a gay man for God!


  1. Like you said on the phone, I'll go gay and you go straight. Then everything will work out perfectly for us. :)

  2. Solution: start looking for the girl of my dreams, and send her my way when you find her.