Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Gay Guy in Seminary Day 107 (Strange Luck)

My professor for The Sacred & the Substance, his name is Ayize, class cancelled class the week before Thanksgiving because his friend committed suicide. I was feeling overloaded, so when I first heard class was cancelled, I got really excited, but when I heard why, it was really sad. I would much rather go to class and have his friend be alive.

I've only ever had 2 people die on me. The first was my Uncle Fred. He died of leukemia, probably because he spent most of his life smoking cigarettes. He wasn't really my uncle; he was married to my mother's cousin, but he was more of an uncle to me than any of my actual uncles. That was really hard because it was the first death I ever really experienced. I've never forgiven myself for not visiting him in the hospital when he was sick, but it freaked me out too much to go there.

The second was my friend Jeremy who committed suicide earlier this year. That hit me really hard because even though I wasn't really that close to him, I'm really close to many members of his family and I'll always remember him a little boy with a baseball cap and deep dimples. He had so much potential. He was only 17 and he had his whole life ahead of him. He was in the band and on the wrestling team. He had a huge family that loved him. I don't think anyone saw it coming. I don't know if I'll ever get over this death.

So, when I heard Ayize's friend, it made me really sad. We had class today, but we only stayed for about an hour because Ayize was obviously having a really hard week. He proceed to tell us in a half-joking manner that his standards have dropped really low as far as grading, which of course is understandable. He still wants us to do our final projects, but he is more concerned about us getting what we wanted to get out of the class, which is cool. But, I'd rather have him grade us harder and have his friend be alive.

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